Sexy joke time

A man is in a hotel lobby. He wants to ask the clerk a question.

As he turns to go to the front desk, he accidentally bumps into a woman beside him and as he does, his elbow goes into her breast. They are both quite startled.

The man turns to her and says, "Ma'am, if your heart is as soft as your breast, I know you'll forgive me."

She replies, "If your penis is as hard as your elbow, I'm in room 436."


*******

A man decided to have a face lift for his birthday. He spends $5,000 and feels really good about the result.

On his way home he stops at a newsstand and buys a paper. Before leaving he says to the sales clerk, "I hope you don't mind me asking, but how old do you think I am?" "About 35," was the reply. "I'm actually 47," the man says happily.

A little while later he goes to McDonald's for lunch and asks the order taker the same question, to which the reply is, "I'd guess that you're 29?""Nope, I am actually 47." He's starting to feel really good about himself.

While standing at the bus stop he asks an old woman the same question. She replies, "I am 85 years old and my eyesight is going. But when I was young there was a sure way of telling a man's age. If I put my hand down your pants and play with your penis for ten minutes I will be able to tell your exact age."

As there was no one else around the man thought what the hell and let her slip her hand down his pants.

Ten minutes later the old lady says, "OK, it's done. You are 47,"

Stunned the man says, "That was brilliant! How did you do that?"

The old lady replies, "I was behind you in McDonald's".

***********

Two 90 year olds had been dating for a while, when the man told the woman, "Well, tonight's the night we have sex!"

And so they did.

As they are lying in bed afterward, the man thinks to himself, "My God, if I knew she was a virgin, I would have been much more gentle with her!"

And the woman was thinking to herself, "My God, if I knew the old geezer could actually get it up, I would have taken off my panty hose.



Lany

Happy Valentine's Day! And congrats

Congrats to Marissa Alwin on her first Ellora's Cave release, the Valentine's Vixen's Quickie, Heart on His Sleeve! Lany had the pleasure of a preview...it's a seriously sexy, sweet romp.

Seasons of Seduction II

Hiya gang,

We’ve finally got the list of who’ll all be taking part in SoSII anthology with us.

As mentioned below:
Charlotte Boyett-Compo
Cheyenne McCray *fan girl gawk*

To round out the short stories are:
Lani Aames
Megan Kerans (Megan’s first story with EC!)
And my friend Rebecca Aires! *tosses confetti* I think it’s cool we’re in the same anthology!

Truthfully, being part of SoSII is especially exciting -for me- because of the way Viking’s Pledge got drawn into the pool. VP had already been contracted and was waiting to be released. EC thought it’d work for a Caveman slot. Isn’t it interesting how life just happens and sometimes the right pieces come together?

*Grin* Sometimes people just get lucky!

Until later~
Mel

Racism In Publishing, How Does It Affect You? Xposted

Are you an African American author who’s been published for at least one year? If so Karen Scott wants to hear from you.

She’s conducting a survey based on the racism within the publishing industry, and whether or not it’s as prevalent as some believe. She’s looking for black or African American authors who have been published for at least one year.

She would like to know about your specific experiences within the industry thus far. She wants to know how AA authors feel about the current shelving policies, and niche marketing. She wants to know who you feel is to blame for the problems that you face. She also wants your suggestions on how things can be improved upon.

In all, there are twenty questions in the survey, and all that she asks is that people be as honest as possible. Confidentiality is assured if requested, but for the findings to yield more weight, she would request that she be granted permission to directly quote from the answers given by the authors.

She’s hoping to poll at least 100 AA authors, in an effort to ensure that a fair representation is achieved.

If enough authors agree to partcipate, (and depending on the findings) the results may well be sent to representatives within media and press. No promises that Oprah will hear about it, but all efforts will be made to get the message out.

If there are AA authors out there interested in participating in this poll, please e-mail Karen at hairylemony @ gmail. com (without the spaces) with the subject header ‘Please send me the survey'.

The deadline for the survey to be completed and returned to Karen is March 1st 2007

Guess what I have?

Robin Schone's new book, Scandalous Lovers.

Lany